3 Perfect Solutions to Conquer the Playing Victim Mentality
The mentality of playing the victim is the attitude of someone who likes to make himself a "victim", and tends to always blame the other party if a problem occurs. For example, if his fate is stuck, then this person will tend to blame the situation and feel that he is a helpless victim.
A very classic example of reflecting the playing victim mentality is like this. For example, when his career stagnates, he immediately says: well, I don't know big bosses well; Or well, I don't have any inside acquaintances.
Or if you see other people who because of their achievements can work in bona fide companies, people like this immediately comment, well because they have someone inside anyway …… (I like to scratch my head when I hear comments like this).
Or another example like this. When I want to do business but never go out, the reason is: well, I don't have rich parents who can capitalize on me anyway. Or: I don't have any connections to people who have money anyway.
Whatever the example, the mentality of playing the victim is an attitude of wanting to always blame the situation, why he is stuck. He does not want to be blamed when his fate is stagnant, because he feels that he is only a victim of a situation that is not on his side.
Such an attitude is truly a dark fatalistic attitude. Why? Because that kind of attitude will make this person stuck forever; because easily, he throws the responsibility for changing his destiny on external factors beyond his control.
A very fundamental first step in changing this text is a generous attitude to admit that there is something inside of us that needs to be fixed, and only we can do it ourselves.
When we are reluctant to admit this, and always blame external factors, and feel that we are only victims of circumstances, then until whenever our fate will continue to lie in a gloomy stagnation.
Unfortunately, people who throw the playing victim attitude will indeed feel "satisfied" when they throw out their absurd magical sentences.
When you say, I don't have any inside acquaintances, or I don't know a big boss, this person will feel relieved; as if telling the world that he was a victim of an impartial situation. His inner emotions were satisfied after saying this absurd sentence.
And we know that such inner satisfaction is just a false satisfaction on a mirage stage.
This satisfaction is false because, with such an attitude, he is never triggered to introspect: see what is lacking in him and needs to be corrected and then move to make improvements consistently.
This person never wants to admit his shortcomings, because he feels that he is just a victim of the situation.
What is also dark is if the mentality of playing victim is used instead as an excuse to hide his insecurity in changing his destiny.
When someone slips lightly: I don't have any inside acquaintances, or I don't know the big boss, chances are that this person is incompetent: this person doesn't have the competence to be proud of, doesn't have strong talent tested, never impressive achievements, and the mindset is closed-minded (because he always feels he is just a victim).
So the fate or career of this person is stagnant solely because of his inability, not because of circumstances.
So what? What should be done to conquer the playing victim attitude and mentality that seems to appear more and more around us and also on social media?
The following are three solutions worth pursuing to overcome the trap of the playing victim mentality, especially in the context of the world of work, career, and business.
Playing Victim Solution # 1: Cultivate a Mentality of Independence
You define your destiny. You write your storyline.
The most fundamental principle in this journey of life is: we are most responsible for changing our destiny; not other people.
When we evade that basic principle, and always tend to blame the circumstances when our fate is stuck, then this kind of attitude will make us stuck forever. Because shifting responsibility to others will not motivate us to make changes in ourselves.
Whereas the key to changing fate starts from being great in us to be willing to change what is still lacking in us.
Playing Victim Solution # 2: Focus on Self-Improvement
The first solution above is the key that starts everything. When we believe that we are the ones most responsible for our fate, and not the other party, then we will be moved to carry out a self-improvement process.
Instead of blaming the circumstances or external factors, and continuing to act as victims, but after that did not make any changes, and ultimately the fate remains stagnant; then it is much better to introspect: why my fate is still stagnant. What do I need to fix it?
What skills or competencies need to be upgraded so that my skills continue to improve? What is the method of upgrading the skills? And how can I be consistent in carrying out this self-improvement process? A series of questions like this needs to be continually grown and answered.
When our minds are more focused on important questions like that, the playing victim attitude and the easy attitude to blame others can slowly disappear, replaced by a more positive attitude towards the future.
Playing Victim Solution # 3: Formulate and Live an Improvement Action Plan
After finding the answers to a series of key questions on solution number two, in this final stage, we need to formulate an action plan so that our skills and expertise can improve.
Describe what self-development activities we will do, when will they be carried out, and what are the measures of success? After continuing, then implement this plan gradually, starting with the easiest action to do. Start small. Take the first easy step.
When we are immersed in implementing such improvement actions, the playing victim's attitude will automatically disappear. Because we are already too busy with various corrective actions that we must undertake.
The principle of people like this is: just shut up, and keep improving my valuable skills.
THERE are three effective solutions to conquer the playing victim mentality which will trap our fate in a dark alley and prolonged sorrow.
These three solutions are:
- Cultivate an independent mentality
- Focus on self-improvement
- Formulate and live the improvement action plan.
I'd like to end this article with a lovely quote from Morgan Freeman's Invictus film:
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul.